We had spent a wonderful Thanksgiving Day in NYC viewing the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and celebrating with generous new friends in their lovely home. But Black Friday hit me like a ton of bricks in the Bed Bath and Beyond Lincoln Center.
Jordan innocently enough said that she wanted to stop by the Bed Bath and Beyond to buy a Yankee Candle to bring the smell of cinnamon and pine to our apartment. This store is a gem in the heart of Manhattan with amazingly reasonably priced items, so it wasn't city merchant greed that struck me or the fact that Cameron was loading the cart with lights and decorations for the season. We still have a storage locker full of our stuff back in Denver, including 23 years worth of Christmas decorations. Because of the uncertainty of Cameron's high school prospects and my lack of job opportunities we have opted to leave our things there instead of incurring the additional cost of shipping everything out here with the possibility of sending them back in less than a year. I have told the girls that we will need to buy a few key items to decorate our humble abode and make it feel like home, so Cam was just following the plan and stocking up on the essential lights and jingle bell wreaths needed for a traditional Christmas.
I am at the end of month three in the job search. Nothing. I have had several interviews that I was either abundantly qualified for or obscenely over qualified for, but the call backs never came. Before we moved to New York I watched the news and intellectually understood the unemployment problem. In Evergreen we sold our house, so I certainly understood the crashing housing market and the fragile economy. But I never imagined that someone with my work history would not be able to find a job. Our budget is tight, but it makes sense as long as no unexpected expenses come up. (this is the part where I encourage uncontrollable laughter) Needless to say Hunter's college budget was under estimated, his ability to contribute to car payments was overestimate, Jordan's slower than expected jump into the skilled/degreed work force, and my inability to find a well paying job has brought our budget to a bottle neck.
Back to Bed Bath and Beyond. So... Cam is filling the cart with Christmas decorations. My mind is racing with the budget. We have just enough to pay the bills and cover weekly living expenses. No extras. NO EXTRAS. No Christmas wreaths. or candles, or cards, or lights, etc... How do I tell my 13 year old daughter that we went from being a family on a life style budget to a family that cannot buy a thing beyond the weekly grocery budget. I literally felt the walls close in. The two boxes of Christmas lights ($6.99 each) the bell wreath ($12.00 each), and Sparking Christmas Tree Yankee Candle ($24 each) literally choked me. I looked at the shoppers next to me carefully putting items into their baskets and I saw my reflection from seasons past buying with Christams joy, and here I was walking with a basket that I could not afford to even push through the store. It was humbling and overwhelming.
The city has been so good to us. We have an apartment literally on the doorstep of the Upper West Side, Cameron has been embraced by her fellow students at a sought after middle school in the neighborhood, we have navigated our way to the coolest things the city has to offer for free (concerts in the park, free museum tickets, and fixed priced restaurant menus), and yet I cannot find a job. The nightmare of selling the house and the unknown of moving to a destination with no one to greet us at the other end seem marginalized by the fact that I cannot find work. As I mentioned in an earlier piece, I do have a job. But I am under paid and over qualified. At 49 I have become part of the invisible middle aged work force. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of believe, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way..."
But quoting Dickens to your 13 year old is a rather grand ideal in the middle of a big box store. We left. And when we got to the sidewalk she squeezed my hand and said, "Let's just take a walk through the Park today." I fought back the tears and we headed into Central Park to shuffle through the autumn leaves.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Lawless
I have never been arrested. But there is something about New York City that brings out my lawless side.
Ok, so we are at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. We found a good spot on 70th Street and Central Park West, but I had the idea that if we went down to Columbus Circle we would have a better view of the floats, marching bands, and balloons since the area has much more open space than the streets leading onto Central Park West. Boy, was I wrong. The place was packed and metal street barricades kept the crowds contained. Our merry band consisted of Jordan, Cameron, Jeff and myself. Jordan saw a break in the barriers and broke out across the street, the rest of us followed and we squeezed through an open barrier onto the premises of the Trump Residential Towers (dream views of the parade going along Central Park West). As the rest of my family hurried into the crowd to secure a new spot I felt a firm hand on my elbow. "Excuse me, but what are you doing in this area?" It was one of NYC's finest. I explained that I was just vying for a better view of the parade. Several lies sprung to mind, but the facts were obvious to I just fessed up to them. "Who was with you?" he asked in a a serious manner. Again, my mind raced. Should I throw my family to the wolves and have them hunted down in the crowd for tresspassing? I just said, "I was with my daughter." At that very moment Jordan returned to my side. I don't really know if she was just looking for me or if she saw that the law was interrigating me so she came to my aid. He then asked who else was with us. We stood united and said the we were alone. Jeff and Cameron had safely blended into the crowd and were already enjoying the unobstructed view of the parade. He then proceeded to explain that we were on private property and only Trump Residential Tower residents and employees were allowed in this area, and that we could receive a heavty fine if we did not leave immediately. Needless to say we tripped over ourselves explaining that we had no idea that it was private property and had certainly never meant to break the law.
I have lived here since June and this is my second lawless attempt at getting in on the up close and personal action the city has to offer. In September we were offered four tickets to the Black Eyed Peas FREE concert in Cerntral Park. Three tickets worked, but the fourth (mine) did not register. Jeff asked the ticket taker what would happen if I just went through the gate. He rattled off a list of trespassing laws that I would be breaking. Brazenly I took my lawless life in my own hands and walked through the gate to the sounds of of the Black Eyed Peas singing "Tonights the Night..." So in keeping with my earlier trespasses I had made break for the Shangrala of parade viewing. spots.. Unfortunately in this case I was booted out, but you can't say I didn't go for it. We actually ended up two blocks up the street on 62nd Street and got an insanely good view of the parade and ended our morning with shouts and waves to Santa Claus as he passed by!
Monday night is the Christmas tree lighting at Rockefeller Center. Massive crowds are expceted. Hmmm...how can we get close enough to see Justin Bieber sing? Details on Tuesday!
Ok, so we are at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. We found a good spot on 70th Street and Central Park West, but I had the idea that if we went down to Columbus Circle we would have a better view of the floats, marching bands, and balloons since the area has much more open space than the streets leading onto Central Park West. Boy, was I wrong. The place was packed and metal street barricades kept the crowds contained. Our merry band consisted of Jordan, Cameron, Jeff and myself. Jordan saw a break in the barriers and broke out across the street, the rest of us followed and we squeezed through an open barrier onto the premises of the Trump Residential Towers (dream views of the parade going along Central Park West). As the rest of my family hurried into the crowd to secure a new spot I felt a firm hand on my elbow. "Excuse me, but what are you doing in this area?" It was one of NYC's finest. I explained that I was just vying for a better view of the parade. Several lies sprung to mind, but the facts were obvious to I just fessed up to them. "Who was with you?" he asked in a a serious manner. Again, my mind raced. Should I throw my family to the wolves and have them hunted down in the crowd for tresspassing? I just said, "I was with my daughter." At that very moment Jordan returned to my side. I don't really know if she was just looking for me or if she saw that the law was interrigating me so she came to my aid. He then asked who else was with us. We stood united and said the we were alone. Jeff and Cameron had safely blended into the crowd and were already enjoying the unobstructed view of the parade. He then proceeded to explain that we were on private property and only Trump Residential Tower residents and employees were allowed in this area, and that we could receive a heavty fine if we did not leave immediately. Needless to say we tripped over ourselves explaining that we had no idea that it was private property and had certainly never meant to break the law.
I have lived here since June and this is my second lawless attempt at getting in on the up close and personal action the city has to offer. In September we were offered four tickets to the Black Eyed Peas FREE concert in Cerntral Park. Three tickets worked, but the fourth (mine) did not register. Jeff asked the ticket taker what would happen if I just went through the gate. He rattled off a list of trespassing laws that I would be breaking. Brazenly I took my lawless life in my own hands and walked through the gate to the sounds of of the Black Eyed Peas singing "Tonights the Night..." So in keeping with my earlier trespasses I had made break for the Shangrala of parade viewing. spots.. Unfortunately in this case I was booted out, but you can't say I didn't go for it. We actually ended up two blocks up the street on 62nd Street and got an insanely good view of the parade and ended our morning with shouts and waves to Santa Claus as he passed by!
Monday night is the Christmas tree lighting at Rockefeller Center. Massive crowds are expceted. Hmmm...how can we get close enough to see Justin Bieber sing? Details on Tuesday!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Make New Friends But Keep the Old... (Easier Said Than Done)
Middle School is difficult enough to navigate, but when you are the new kid things can be even trickier. My thirteen year old daughter, Cameron learned this lesson yesterday.
In Evergreen Middle School, where Cam spent her 6th and 7th grade years, "going out" with someone was the norm and changing boyfriends/girlfriends was as common as switching what color of Converse tennis shoes you favored that week. But at her new school in Manhattan the concept is only being tested by a hormone driven few. The first few weeks of school Cameron was courted by two cute boys and I'm not actually sure why she chose one over the other, because she seemed to have more in common with the discarded fellow, but for whatever reason, Jeremy won the prize. The course of their three week relationship is neither here nor there, the piont of my story is that they broke up yesterday. What the boyfriend did not know was the Cameron has been texting and FBing an old flame from Evergreen over the last few weeks. In Cameron's defense she is still homesick and holding on to love from sweet days gone by is a natural thing to do to keep emtionally connected to her past life.
So Cameron does the mature thing and tells Jeremy to his face (no texting or second party breaking-up). She has the weight of the world off her shoulders after misery of getting the "it's not you it's me" and "we work better as friends" speech out of her way. Of course, she does the only natural thing and goes on to Facebook to post her new status as SINGLE and within hours back to IN A RELATIONSHIIP. Here in lies the rub.
No one at her new school really cares if she is dating Jeremy or not. As I said before this is more of a novel idea for this group, but what could backfire on her is the alliance these kids have to Jeremy over Cameron. I can not express to you enough how this class has embraced Cameron. I would venture to say she is one of the most popular girls in her class. But her error is in thinking that she would break-up with one of their own and hook-up with a boyfriend from her past life in Colorado. As I explained it to her as I walked her to school this morning - these kids think of you as one of them now. They want to believe that they have won your heart and if you had to chose you would happily stay in Manhattan with them as opposed to going back to your life in Evergreen. But by dumping Jeremey and then turning around and going out with your old Colorado flame you are in essense saying "Well, I tried a New York guy, but I still prefer Colorado boys." Their natural instinct is going to be to rally around Jeremy and cast you back to where you came from.
Miraculously, as I explained this, she seemed to understand and agree with me. As damage control I had gotten on to her Facebook account last night (yes, I have her password) and changed her status back to single and deleted a photos from last year's Winter Dance of her and Ryan that she had posted yesterday. I had expected her to cry, to yell at me for touching her FB, and tell me that she wants to move back to Colorado and does not care at all what people think of her in New York. But Cameron has a survivors spirit. I am shocked and in awe of her undestanding of her need to be a chameleon.
In Evergreen Middle School, where Cam spent her 6th and 7th grade years, "going out" with someone was the norm and changing boyfriends/girlfriends was as common as switching what color of Converse tennis shoes you favored that week. But at her new school in Manhattan the concept is only being tested by a hormone driven few. The first few weeks of school Cameron was courted by two cute boys and I'm not actually sure why she chose one over the other, because she seemed to have more in common with the discarded fellow, but for whatever reason, Jeremy won the prize. The course of their three week relationship is neither here nor there, the piont of my story is that they broke up yesterday. What the boyfriend did not know was the Cameron has been texting and FBing an old flame from Evergreen over the last few weeks. In Cameron's defense she is still homesick and holding on to love from sweet days gone by is a natural thing to do to keep emtionally connected to her past life.
So Cameron does the mature thing and tells Jeremy to his face (no texting or second party breaking-up). She has the weight of the world off her shoulders after misery of getting the "it's not you it's me" and "we work better as friends" speech out of her way. Of course, she does the only natural thing and goes on to Facebook to post her new status as SINGLE and within hours back to IN A RELATIONSHIIP. Here in lies the rub.
No one at her new school really cares if she is dating Jeremy or not. As I said before this is more of a novel idea for this group, but what could backfire on her is the alliance these kids have to Jeremy over Cameron. I can not express to you enough how this class has embraced Cameron. I would venture to say she is one of the most popular girls in her class. But her error is in thinking that she would break-up with one of their own and hook-up with a boyfriend from her past life in Colorado. As I explained it to her as I walked her to school this morning - these kids think of you as one of them now. They want to believe that they have won your heart and if you had to chose you would happily stay in Manhattan with them as opposed to going back to your life in Evergreen. But by dumping Jeremey and then turning around and going out with your old Colorado flame you are in essense saying "Well, I tried a New York guy, but I still prefer Colorado boys." Their natural instinct is going to be to rally around Jeremy and cast you back to where you came from.
Miraculously, as I explained this, she seemed to understand and agree with me. As damage control I had gotten on to her Facebook account last night (yes, I have her password) and changed her status back to single and deleted a photos from last year's Winter Dance of her and Ryan that she had posted yesterday. I had expected her to cry, to yell at me for touching her FB, and tell me that she wants to move back to Colorado and does not care at all what people think of her in New York. But Cameron has a survivors spirit. I am shocked and in awe of her undestanding of her need to be a chameleon.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
the "good" toilet paper
It is too hard to begin at the beginning, so I will just begin with today and fill in the blanks along the way.
My daughter, Jordan, just had a college friend visit from Colorado. As we were browsing the toiletry aisle today at the Bed Bath and Beyond store at Lincoln Center Jordan said, "Mom, I thought it was sweet the way you bought the good toilet paper for when Mandy was visiting." (the good stuff cost about $14 for nine rolls of Charmin) I laughed and took the observation in the sweet and appreciative spirit that it was delivered in. Now let me fill you in on the back story and I will give you the weekly job search update.
We moved to New York City in June,. I have never been unemployed since I was 21. I came to the city with a job and I still have it. But I imagined that when I got here I would apply for a job in the hospitality industry and immediately resume a supervisory position similar to what I have been doing in Evergreen for the past four years. And making the kind of money we had expected to live on in the most expensive city in the world. Ummm.... yeah... no. Somewhere in the realm of time and space I forgot that I moved back to a city filled with gorgeous actors who have spent 1 to 20 years of their careers in the catering/food industry. HELP WANTED ads routinely read - :"Floor Supervisor for busy midtown restaurant, please send resume and head shot." Head shot? Uhm.. I don't think I have one of those.
Ok, plan B. And until then we need to save the rest of the good toilet paper for when my mom visits at Christmas.
My daughter, Jordan, just had a college friend visit from Colorado. As we were browsing the toiletry aisle today at the Bed Bath and Beyond store at Lincoln Center Jordan said, "Mom, I thought it was sweet the way you bought the good toilet paper for when Mandy was visiting." (the good stuff cost about $14 for nine rolls of Charmin) I laughed and took the observation in the sweet and appreciative spirit that it was delivered in. Now let me fill you in on the back story and I will give you the weekly job search update.
We moved to New York City in June,. I have never been unemployed since I was 21. I came to the city with a job and I still have it. But I imagined that when I got here I would apply for a job in the hospitality industry and immediately resume a supervisory position similar to what I have been doing in Evergreen for the past four years. And making the kind of money we had expected to live on in the most expensive city in the world. Ummm.... yeah... no. Somewhere in the realm of time and space I forgot that I moved back to a city filled with gorgeous actors who have spent 1 to 20 years of their careers in the catering/food industry. HELP WANTED ads routinely read - :"Floor Supervisor for busy midtown restaurant, please send resume and head shot." Head shot? Uhm.. I don't think I have one of those.
Ok, plan B. And until then we need to save the rest of the good toilet paper for when my mom visits at Christmas.
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