On the Downhill Side of the College Process

Beacon High School College Acceptance Board

  A couple of years ago I remember hearing a parent say that they had toured ten college campuses in the northeast.  I had thought that sounded excessive and expensive.  And last April I remember a member of our church who, at the time, was a senior in high school, standing up to proudly tell the congregation what college she had decided on, and I was surprised that it was the end of April and she was just now making that major life decision.  Well, it's April 20th and just last night I had a tearful conversation with Cameron about driving up to yet another college campus this weekend (it would be tour #10) to check it out before she has to make her final decision on May 1st.

  Out of the nine schools that we looked at three made the top tier cut.  Two of them she was not accepted to.  They were reach schools and the results were not unexpected, but not getting in was disappointing non-the-less.  The third school, Dickinson College, was a target school and she got in!  It met every criteria she had and more.  They have a strong environmental science program, they have a college farm that produces produce for the campus cafeterias, there is a green sustainable living house as a housing option, there is a mermaid on their bell tower, it is an adorable little town three hours from New York City, and there is a notorious haunted building on campus!  What's not to love?  Well, the answer is "the price tag".  The cost, when all is said and done is $66,000 per year (yes, per year).

  Let me back up a little bit.  For anyone of you who have followed our highs and lows in New York over the last five years you know that we have gone through some difficult financial times. It's taken five years, but Jeff and I have finally found our footing with good jobs that pay New York City wages.  New York City wages pay for New York City rents, transportation, taxes, etc..., but it really evens out to a middle class life outside of the city.  By no means are we part of the 1%.  But that's not what the FAFA looks at, and as far as the Feds are concerned we earn enough to pay our expected parent contribution of $53,000 per year of her college. The absurdity of that is not lost on Jeff and me.

  Dickinson gave her enough to cover the gap between the $66,000 and the $53,000 we would need to pay.  We don't have the money, nor can we take out, $212,000 in Parent Plus loans for her to get a liberal arts education at a elite Pennsylvania college.

  In defense of the school they are very open about NOT being a need blind school. When it comes to financing they are not "warm and fuzzy".  They are cut and dry about either you can afford it or you can't.  We had thought that Cameron's grades and extracurricular activities would provide a basis for a better scholarship package, but even their best package would only bring it down to $41,000 per year. We appealed with more financial information and a letter from an esteemed alumni but to no avail.

  So how do you tell a student who has worked so hard to make straight A's for four years that all of her hard work has not paid off?  So close and yet not enough.

  Two private liberal arts schools, one in Pennsylvania and on in Massachusetts, came through with very good scholarships, and she has the option of going to two competitive New York State universities, but they all pale in comparison to her top three for various reasons.  She accepted one of the private schools and even went online and ordered the school sweatshirt.  But I know that her heart is beyond disappointed, and my heart is broken for her. 

  I am keenly aware that these are first world, privileged problems.  But as a parent I'm wondering if my sister was right and we drank the northeastern college Kool-Aid looking at these boutique, elite schools when we should have kept her feet firmly planted on the ground looking at state schools that we could afford out of pocket instead of pinning our hopes on elusive merit scholarships with no chance of any "need based' support.

Feast or Famine Why I Stay in NYC

  Jeff and I were having a slice of pizza on Saturday while Cameron was getting her haircut in the salon next door.  We were trying to decide what to do on this beautiful afternoon.  Jeff came up with some ideas that were good but, expensive.  Per usual I had to be the one to remind him that we did not have any money for costly amusements.  He then proceeded to go into his usual tirade about "what's the point of living in New York City if we can't afford to do anything?"
 For the rest of the day I thought about our conversation.  I had not been able to explain to him why I was clinging to a life in Manhattan.  In fact the cost (both financial and personal) of living here is astronomical.  A subway or bus ride is $2.75, the average rent for a two bedroom/900 sq. foot apartment is $3,000 per month, and paying $14.00 for a hamburger (without fries) at a casual restaurant is the norm. Traffic congestion, delays in subway transportation, crush of pedestrians on sidewalks, crappy landlords, and ear piercing sirens and honking horns fray your nerves. We've been here four and a half years and after Cameron graduates from high school in June we are technically free to leave.  Where we'd go would be whole different blog, but there will be nothing actually tethering us.  Yet last week I was talking to a co-worker touting how lucky we are to work for such a wonderful company and she said, "You'll stay with the company until you retire, won't you."  I shook my head yes without hesitation.  I do see myself leaving New York some day to ultimately move back to our beloved Colorado, but for now, there is something that, despite everything, keeps me here. 


  After church Jeff and I were walking on the Upper West Side heading home.  It was an unseasonably warm day with just enough of a bite in the air to keep everyone dressed (New Yorker's are better looking dressed than undressed).  I decided to pull my cell phone out and snap some pictures of things that I love about New York. 

  Jeff took issue with the Murray's Sturgeon Shop.  He asked if I'd ever been in the store, and I said that I had not, but... if I wanted sturgeon I know where to find it.  As chain stores run the local merchant out of business more and more it's quaint and comforting to know that Murray's is holding his ground.

  We were trying to decide where to have lunch to avoid the $14 hamburger, but we did not want the obvious "slice of pizza" option.  I had seen Broadway Restaurant listed on Best Diners in NYC in TimeOut Magazine, and even though it's only a few blocks from our apartment we'd never been, so we headed uptown. Now diner's are not unique to New York and I would guess that the best are nowhere near a city, but there is something very comforting about New York's Greek diners.  It's not the food that you go for.  It's the endless refills on the coffee, the waitress with limited English, and the variety of food that they serve from pancakes to gyros, and spaghetti to moussaka.


  With all of the ongoing unrest you might think that living in a city with such extreme religious diversity might be stressful, but in fact I find it fascinating.  Honestly, before moving here I wasn't even aware of certain sects of Catholicism and Judaism .  And the amazing architecture of many of these institutions is awe inspiring. I ride the subway with people who wear their religion on their sleeves, for lack of a better term, and I have NEVER seen anyone show disrespect to another person due to their religion. I will admit that I tend to stare, but it's only because I'm curious about the clothes and what goes on in the mind of a person who is so devoted to their religion that in one of the most modern cities in the world they would cling to such old world traditions.

   Finally we ended up in Central Park, only half a block from our apartment.  For twenty two years I had a yard and I will tell you that keeping a tidy lawn is not something that I ever found pleasure in, so there is never a time when I'm in the park that I don't appreciate how lucky I am to have such an amazing green space in my own backyard.
 

Washer/Dryer or Fido

  Before we signed the lease on our new apartment we asked our new landlord if there was a washer/dryer in the building.  He said that he has one in his unit, but it's for his private use only.  The nearest laundromat is seven blocks away, and I've come too far to be pushing a granny cart with my laundry in it around the neighborhood.  In our kitchen there is an obvious place for a stackable washer/dry complete with outlets and dryer vent.  What was missing was the correct water hookup, so some minor plumbing under the sink would need to be added to accommodate the washing machine. The owner, Noah, was less than enthusiastic about the idea, but he agreed as long as we had renters insurance to cover any water damage, bought our own machine, and had the work done by an "approved plumber".  That last one was the catch.

  Let me add that he did not want a dog in the apartment. We told him that in fact we have a small terrier.  He reluctantly agreed and the dog was added to the lease.

  Initially Noah said that he wanted us to use the plumber he was using for the renovation on his apartment, and the price he quoted was $1,000 for the work.  Our realtor said that he had a guy that his company recommended who could do the work for $300.  Noah agreed to the plumber and asked that the realtor pay for the installation. Our realtor seeing all of his hard work going "down the drain" so to speak, over the installation of a washer/dryer agreed to cover the cost.

  We moved in a week later.  A week after that we bought the washer and dryer.  We scheduled our plumber.  He came and said that he needed access to the water main, which is in the basement, which we don't have access to, and the owner's are not living in their unit during the renovation. So we had to reschedule.  I am now on week two of dragging my laundry to the laundrymat with a perfectly good washer/dryer sitting in my kitchen unplugged.  Noah agreed to schedule some time in conjunction with the plumber to make the water main available, but first he wanted the plumbers contracting license and insurance, as well as a drawn out plan for the work.  Remember, the landlord agreed to the plumber at the signing of the lease, now, two weeks later he is asking for a extensive documentation to get the work completed.  The plumber that our realtor referred to us was doing this as a side job.  He works for a large condo building and works under their umbrella for insurance and contracting.  He does not have an independent contractor's license or he would be charging $1,000.  Our realtor had been amazing in getting us out of our former lease so we contacted him to see if he could negotiate this situation.  He contacted the landlord's agent and came back to us with a strange response. 


  "He hates your dog," our realtor relayed to us. What? What does my dog have to do with installing our washer and dryer?  Come to find out the landlord really did not have an issue with us installing our washer/dry, but he was having lease signing remorse about allowing our small dog in the building.

  I am a dog person, but I totally understand that little yap dogs can drive a person crazy.  Come to find out that during the day while we are at work our little terrier, Oliver, is spending his day barking at the workers downstairs, at the delivery person for our upstairs neighbor's Meals on Wheels, and any other person(s) entering the brownstone. If we had been informed of this we would have worked out a solution immediately.  We never intended to sign a dog onto the lease at the expense of the other tenants. 

  Long and short of it is that we are sending our little Oliver to live with my brother in Kansas where the poor little mite can avoid the stress of living among so many voices outside of his front door. And my washer and dryer are now installed.  Jeff, Cameron and I did a house cleansing with incense, music and candles to try to calm the negative energy in the building. Hopefully we can all begin to live in harmony, except for poor little Oliver who's adventure is just beginning.  

Little Paris in Manhattan

  With Cameron going off to college next fall Jeff and I were determined to move into a new apartment this Spring.  Our lease was not up until June 1st, but we decided to start looking in February to get a sense of what was on the market in our price range. We went to an open house and although the apartment wasn't right for us the realtor had some ideas about getting us out of our lease early.  We told him that we don't have to move, we actually have a good rent for the size of our apartment, and our dream location is the tony Riverside Drive which I nicknamed "Little Paris". He took on the challenge.

  Our landlord on Manhattan Avenue is  huge corporation that has about 30 properties in the Columbia University area.  They are very impersonal and certainly are not quick to respond unless there is water leaking through the ceiling.  I don't know how many times I called in regards to rodent issues only to be ignored or to be told to put out mouse traps.  So with that said I had very little faith that they would be willing to let us out of our lease early. The only thing that we had on our side was that since the owner's bought the building two years ago they have been flipping the apartment and doubling the rent, and they could certainly take our outdated apartment, flip it and get almost a thousand dollars more a month in rent. Craig, our realtor, suggested that we list our apartment as a "lease break" and get tenants in for the remaining three months of our lease, but since I knew for certain that he owner's would be renovating the apartment and charging a thousand dollars more a month I knew that was not a reasonable option. Plus I did not want to be responsible for the sublet. Craig then said that he had contacts with our landlord and he thought they would let us out early, so that they could renovate the apartment before the busy rental season began in the summer. So there was all this conversation about getting us out of our apartment, but Craig had not shown us any rental options that were making me want to give up my current place. I was feeling rushed out my apartment so that he could rent it and obtain the fee, pushing me into an undesirable rental that he would also collect the fee on.  I hated to be cynical, but that's how it felt.

  I was out of town one weekend with Cameron and Jeff was calling me with rental options that Craig was showing him.  They were either over budget or not in the area of the city that I wanted to live. I know that you can get an amazing place in Harlem, but I DON"T want to live in Harlem. I was beginning to feel panicked.  I got home on a Sunday night and on Monday evening Craig had an apartment he wanted us to see. He had viewed the place during the day and was certain that he had found our dream apartment on 101st Street half a block from my dream location of Riverside Drive. It was $100 over budget and I was already feeling squeezed by the budget we had given him, but we agreed to see it.  There was nothing not to love.  It's the second floor of a brownstone with original parquet floors, crown molding, a bay window, and a deck!  Needless to say we told Craig to put our bid in and asked for a two year lease to neutralize the extra rent over time.

  Now mind you,. it's March and we still have three months on our current lease.  It was like taking a bridge loan. All the while our realtor is telling us that he can get us out of our lease early.  We get all of our paperwork together and submit our application with sheer blind faith that things will fall into place. Our lease was accepted on a Thursday and we moved on Tuesday. Craig made some magical calls and told me that our former rental company had agreed to us leaving two and a half months early. I gave one week's notice to our landlords that we were moving.  Again, all I have is my realtor telling me it was all good. On the day before we moved I got a return email from the landlord's secretary asking me for our forwarding address so that they could send us our security deposit back.  On the morning of our move the actual owner of the building, Jimmy, stopped by to take a look at the apartment that he would soon be renovating.  I told him that we would paint Cameron's room back to the original white and he said not to bother because the apartment would be gut renovated. He said do a "broom cleaning" and leave the rest because everything would be torn out anyway.  When I sent the secretary my forwarding address I dared to ask for the remaining two weeks of March rent that I had already paid be returned to us.  I had my deposit and the prorated rent at the end of the week.  I still don't know what happened.  The stars aligned.  I could feel it happening, but it wasn't until it had all passed that I allowed myself to believe it.

  Some information on moving in New York City:  We tried to move last year by looking for a "no fee" apartment, but we couldn't find anything decent. All the really good places hire rental brokers to vet their renters and the brokers charge the renters a fee. The fee is normally 10% of the year. Then there is the first month and security.  To move a two bedroom, 1,100 sq. foot apartment cost $1,500, which considered the two flights of stairs in the brownstone.  We certainly had more boxes than was in the original moving estimate but the moving company foreman told me that if we added extra to the tip he would take the extra boxes and clothes.  So add on 25% tip for the movers. By the time we were done we barely had two nickels to rub together, but we are in!  And we can save on dining out by eating on our lovely new deck!