On the Downhill Side of the College Process

Beacon High School College Acceptance Board

  A couple of years ago I remember hearing a parent say that they had toured ten college campuses in the northeast.  I had thought that sounded excessive and expensive.  And last April I remember a member of our church who, at the time, was a senior in high school, standing up to proudly tell the congregation what college she had decided on, and I was surprised that it was the end of April and she was just now making that major life decision.  Well, it's April 20th and just last night I had a tearful conversation with Cameron about driving up to yet another college campus this weekend (it would be tour #10) to check it out before she has to make her final decision on May 1st.

  Out of the nine schools that we looked at three made the top tier cut.  Two of them she was not accepted to.  They were reach schools and the results were not unexpected, but not getting in was disappointing non-the-less.  The third school, Dickinson College, was a target school and she got in!  It met every criteria she had and more.  They have a strong environmental science program, they have a college farm that produces produce for the campus cafeterias, there is a green sustainable living house as a housing option, there is a mermaid on their bell tower, it is an adorable little town three hours from New York City, and there is a notorious haunted building on campus!  What's not to love?  Well, the answer is "the price tag".  The cost, when all is said and done is $66,000 per year (yes, per year).

  Let me back up a little bit.  For anyone of you who have followed our highs and lows in New York over the last five years you know that we have gone through some difficult financial times. It's taken five years, but Jeff and I have finally found our footing with good jobs that pay New York City wages.  New York City wages pay for New York City rents, transportation, taxes, etc..., but it really evens out to a middle class life outside of the city.  By no means are we part of the 1%.  But that's not what the FAFA looks at, and as far as the Feds are concerned we earn enough to pay our expected parent contribution of $53,000 per year of her college. The absurdity of that is not lost on Jeff and me.

  Dickinson gave her enough to cover the gap between the $66,000 and the $53,000 we would need to pay.  We don't have the money, nor can we take out, $212,000 in Parent Plus loans for her to get a liberal arts education at a elite Pennsylvania college.

  In defense of the school they are very open about NOT being a need blind school. When it comes to financing they are not "warm and fuzzy".  They are cut and dry about either you can afford it or you can't.  We had thought that Cameron's grades and extracurricular activities would provide a basis for a better scholarship package, but even their best package would only bring it down to $41,000 per year. We appealed with more financial information and a letter from an esteemed alumni but to no avail.

  So how do you tell a student who has worked so hard to make straight A's for four years that all of her hard work has not paid off?  So close and yet not enough.

  Two private liberal arts schools, one in Pennsylvania and on in Massachusetts, came through with very good scholarships, and she has the option of going to two competitive New York State universities, but they all pale in comparison to her top three for various reasons.  She accepted one of the private schools and even went online and ordered the school sweatshirt.  But I know that her heart is beyond disappointed, and my heart is broken for her. 

  I am keenly aware that these are first world, privileged problems.  But as a parent I'm wondering if my sister was right and we drank the northeastern college Kool-Aid looking at these boutique, elite schools when we should have kept her feet firmly planted on the ground looking at state schools that we could afford out of pocket instead of pinning our hopes on elusive merit scholarships with no chance of any "need based' support.